True Companions

So last night when we talked and I knew you would come sit with me at the clinic today while Greg was in surgery, I never realized that you would actually send someone to do that. .. So I left Greg's bed side, completely emotional and freaking out (completely irrationally, of course) trying desperately not to fall apart as I walked downstairs to get something to eat. I get my food from the cafe and go to sit down. Every table has people sitting at them. As I tried to figure out where to eat, a woman motioned me to sit with her. She said, "I won't be here long". I sit down and we started talking. Her name was Pat and she lived in St. Louis Park. She came to the clinic for injections in her ankle for her arthritis. She was just having a cup of coffee before she left. We talked and talked - even about you. I learned about her children, her grand children and even her great grandchildren (one was born just last week). Finally I looked at the clock and realized th...

I have been watching a lot of movies lately that remind me of you. Extremely Close & Incredibly Loud and The Decendants. Neither of them were very good. I probably disliked them more because of how they made me feel, rather than whether they were a good movie or not. But I miss sharing them with you. I have been watching Dancing with the Stars for you. Allen still can't turn it on. It is an amazing year and you would have loved it! They gave out 10s by the third week. It is crazy - even good people are starting to go home. There has already been some serious injuries and falls. It is a great season to watch. Jilly bought a purse the other day. It matches your purse and she put Gracie in it. She misses you!! We both do. I just wish you were around to talk to and do stuff with. Greg broke his leg last night. We were skating and he lost his balance and tried to correct it and did a crazy dislocation of his ankle. Whenever someone gets hurt at practice you take a...

I just took Jilly to get her first Mani-Pedi. I needed a pedicure – but I haven’t had one since I was with you a year ago. I was sure that I was going to sob through it – Greg assured me that is was exactly the reason why I needed to get one. He is an amazing husband!! So we went. I posted pictures to my Facebook. She was so cute. She got flowers on her big toes and on her thumbs. It made me think of all of my experiences with you. It is so helpful to me that I now have a daughter that I can share things with that I used to share with you. We found this consignment shop on the bottom floor of the apartment building we went to look at yesterday for Allen. You would have LOVED it. You would have been their BEST customer!! I got a GORGEOUS Lane cedar chest. I have always had romantic ideas about my children going into my cedar chest and pulling out all of these wonderful and cherished items. Now I am so excited that I have one. I just have to fill it!

I woke up today missing you. I am not sure what made today a different day than any other. I realized that one year ago I was with you in Arizona. It was the last time you held me, the last time you hugged and kissed my babies. It was the last time that you said you loved me face to face. I miss you! I miss your voice, I miss your smile. I know that you are still there and that you can see me. I know that it hurts you to see me so sad. I try to be strong and not let the emotions take over. I tried to find people that would make me happy today, instead everyone I talked to today ended up crying with me. Sometimes I wish I could be more like you, more able to put my emotions away and not give in to them. I wish there was someone who knew how I felt. I know that there are people who have lost their mothers, but not very many people have said that they lost their mother and their best friend at the same time. Our relationship was so unique. I am so thankful every day that I had ...

I have decided that since I get the most sad when I want to talk to my mom and I can’t, that I would just do it here… because I know she can read it. ;-) Oh what a day!! Both Jack and Hunter were up all night throwing up. By 10:00 am I was on my third set of crib sheets. Hunter, of course stayed home from school. I had an oil change appointment at 11:00 so my plan was to put Jack down for a nap and take Jilly with me, that way Hunter didn’t have to do anything other than be here. I got a call from Danny’s school nurse that his stomach was hurting. I picked him up and took him with me to the appointment. By the time my car was ready, Danny was jumping all over the chairs. I called the school nurse and brought him back to school. Besides, it was actually safer, and healthier, for him to be there than here at our house. Jilly was so funny today! Since we had Greg’s car for the oil change, she didn’t have a movie player in there and was talking away to herself. This was her conversati...

I am sitting here tonight very sad. We had our ward Cub Scout Blue & Gold dinner. I was so nervous that I wouldn’t have enough stuff to fill the time but I really wasn’t sure what else to do – so I just did it and hoped for the best. It went surprisingly well. As I was driving home (Greg was in the car in front of me), I realized that I didn’t have anyone to call and cheer with. Other than Greg (and I am not discounting him) I don’t have anyone who is really invested in my life. As adults we hope for that one great friend who knows everything about us and cheer for every part of our lives with us. For me, that was my mom. She wasn’t just invested in my life because she was my mom, she was invested because she was my best friend. And now she is gone….. These are the moments I miss her most. When I want to call and talk to her about something excited, about something special, or about nothing at all. I know that it makes Greg feel bad that he can’t fulfill this part of my life,...

It has been much too long and much too sporadic since I was typing in this blog regularly. I know that I should be better and I want to be… so I guess that will happen one post at a time. I find that I need a place to talk where I can be open and not judged – so I guess this is that place. It has been 7 ½ months since my mom died. Some days I handle things well, some days not so much. Today is an OK day. I am finding that I don’t have to chastise myself for thinking about her as much because it doesn’t debilitate me as much as it used to. I spent much of the day sitting with a friend of mine going through the last of my dad’s camera collection. She marveled at the many “cool” items that he had and was thrilled when she went home with a couple prized possessions. The joy on her face was not far from the joy on my dad’s as he played with a camera and took it apart simply because he could – just like she did. There is something about knowing that you are an orphan that is disheartening. ...

My name is Jennifer Woolf. I am Pam’s youngest daughter. Please forgive me if my thoughts are a bit scattered, but I just wanted to share a few of my favorite moments with you about my mom. My mom was…..well, my mom. How do you narrow down the most amazing, influential woman in your life into a few paragraphs? I guess I will just start at the beginning. Mom always called me her special gift from Heavenly Father. My mom had a still born baby before me and was told not to have any more children. My father went in for a vasectomy. Soon after I was conceived – it obviously hadn’t worked. My sisters are 12 and 8 years older than me. My parents divorced when I was 10. From that point on it was just mom and I at home. My relationship with her was very different than that of my sisters. Not only was she my mom but she was also my very best friend and remained that way until the day she died. While growing up I wasn’t always the easiest child (I know, hard to believe, huh?) but she was a great ...

My mom, Pamela Leigh Hagman Shepardson Williamson, passed away last night at 7:45 p.m. in Gilbert, Arizona. She was an amazing woman who fought a long hard battle with her body. She is now officially joining the ranks of the Angels. I am sure she is joyful and dancing! I love you Mama! You will be missed greatly!! A red shoe service will be held in her honor on Tuesday, August 2nd at 6:30p.m. at the Florence LDS Chapel. If you can't make it - wear red on Tuesday in her honor. She thought everything looked better in red!!!!!

.: (You really should read this first!) :.

When did Jilly's eyes get sooo GREEN??? So I have had this "splash pad" in the box for over a year now. We live in Arizona where we can be in the water outside 90% of the year. Tonight I decided that it was time to break it out. Hana decided that she wanted to play in it with Jilly, so Greg took some pictures.

The ultrasound pictures from 05/06/2010. IT'S A BOY!!

So I found some steaks in the freezer and decided that I wanted them for dinner. However, I was not too keen on the idea of going outside to grill in 108 degrees. So I decided to try and use the Showtime Rotisserie . We'll see how they turn out!!

So my friend Marykay had her baby last week. They had decided that they didn't want to know what they were having. They already had a boy and a girl and decided to have it be a surprise. Well, she had a girl - Victoria Madison. With that (and the fact that this is their last) she gave me all of the boys clothes that she has been saving since she had Dominic - who is 7. I received 2 large boxes, 3 regular bins, 1 extra large bin, and 2 garbage bags full of clothes. While I am EXTREMELY grateful that I will NEVER have to buy clothes again........what in the heck was I going to do with them all?????? So I went through them all and started organizing. I went smallest to largest...... When I ended for the night I had gotten though 12 month. This is just 18 months and up. BEFORE - After rummaging through the house for more bins...... I finally got everything organized. This is 24 months / 2T - 6/7. Whew!! What a job!!! Thanks Marykay!!!! AFTER - So, every Friday morning we meet my frien...

I can't believe that it has been two years today since Miss Jileighan Greer made her grand entrance into this world. She has been a delight ever since. Whenever the day is a bit gloomy all you have to do is watch her for about five minutes and you will be smiling. She is an amazing little girl. She is soo smart and amazingly funny. I adore her and am soo blessed that I was chosen to be the one to raise and teach her. Happy Birthday my amazing Jilly Bean!!! I love you more than words can say!

It is now almost the end of May and my last post was the beginning of February......that doesn't bode well for my goal of improving my blogging!! Oh well....I'm here again anyway! What has happened in the last couple of months?????? Actually a few BIG things... 1) We found out we are having a BOY!! Yeah! This is very exciting news for two reasons... first, I have always known that I had a "Baby Jack" I was waiting for. Now I don't have to wait too much longer to meet him. Second, this is the first grand SON to carry on the WOOLF name. That would explain why when I showed up to Joel's wedding both he and Christian wanted to know why I wasn't in bed surrounded by pillows making sure nothing happened to this precious little baby. :-) 2) As I just stated Joel (greg's brother) married Camie Clement. YEAH!!! She is awesome and we are soo excited she is a part of our family. 3) Greg has decided what he wants to be when he grows up. He has decided tha...

My baby is 10 today! I can't believe it!! It is crazy to me to think that just 10 years ago I was laying in the hospital gazing at my newborn baby thinking "I could stare at you all day" and "where in the heck were you inside my body??" (he was laying with his head on my chest and his feet were on the bed). It has been an amazing ten years! He is the sweetest, most amazing kid - with a crazy attitude streak every now and again. I guess that makes him a normal preteen. UUGGHHH Preteen??!!?!!?? Hunter decided that for his birthday dinner we would go to Red Lobster - this is not a surprise as we go here for each of his birthday dinners. He loves Crab Legs!! He ate an entire pound of them. Mom and Allen came with us. I know the pictures are dark - I forgot my camera and only had my phone.

I had my first Dr. appointment yesterday - it was a little last minute - so thanks Cecily for watching Jilly. I appreciate it!! He did an ultrasound and it turns out that I am a week behind what we thought. I am only about 5 weeks because I ovulate so late so he wasn't able to see the heartbeat. That makes me a little nervous. The doc seemed fine with it. He said he could see everything developing as it should at 5 weeks and that normally you can't detect a heartbeat until about 6 weeks. So I have another appointment in a week and a half. That one Greg can come with and see everything too. Other than that everything else is very normal. I love normal!!!! (I don't get that a lot in my world) :-)

I am so excited!!! We got a new Tahoe!! Since the baby is coming we were going to need a car that seated 9. I have wanted a Tahoe since I was pregnant with Jilly. That was my plan then ..... but the van fell in our laps and it was too good of a deal to pass up. So, my dreams of a Tahoe went on hold. Now that I have another "reason" to need a new car I get serious. After a couple of weeks of looking for a few vehicles that met our criteria and a very long day of being on the phone and negotiating with numerous car dealerships, we finally came to terms that everyone could agree on with this beautiful vehicle. YEAH!!! I am soo excited. It will be squishy with all the kids - but we all love each other. :-)

I received this email from a friend of mine. I laugh sooo hard everytime I look at it! I thought I would share it with you. She is from Minnesota, of course........ Summer is almost here.....we can now see the deer moving around. Yep, won't be long . . .